Zach Smith Pulls an Oedipus in Week 12

Under Pressure Statements

• Help me stepdad! I’m stuck in 10th place! 😳😥😏
• Top two battle it out in snooze fest 🤼🥱😴
• Jillery on a TERR right now 🙀🧨💥
• Shockingly the bye week Jets put up zero points 🧐🔎🤷
• Fumble gatekeeps playoffs from Crybaby 💂✋🙉
• Taco Cat lands on his feet for the playoffs. No senile felines here! 🐈🏁😈

Priority Express –

Terry Jillery

• You started this season out picking Jalen Hurts first round. I was appalled. I talked to my therapist about it. As the weeks passed, I took note of your victories. Your name kept popping up in the Priority Express. Now you’ve defeated my sworn nemesis. Perhaps some day we will meet. Perhaps that day may never come. I’m glad you’re here TJ, and I hope you take home the gold. 

Retail Ground –

Black&BlueWhackadoo

• I commend you Whackadoo. I look at your team and I see champions. It’s true misfortune to see things turn out the way they did. Zay Flowers? Should be top 5 receiver. Jonathan Taylor? Put him on the Chargers and you have a legend. Jets Defense? Even on a bye week should be dominating. It’s been a pleasure sitting down in the dumps with you. I look forward to not being in the playoffs with you.

Air Mail

• Dan goes 5-8, misses playoffs
• There will be one more shift in playoff order
• Terry Jillery will make it to the Championship
• Tight Ends beat Crybaby
• Redman beats Taco Cat

Undelivered Points

“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

 —Andy Dufresne