Under Pressure Statements
- Bottom of the barrel battle it out in the backfield 🛢️👎😴
- Busted! The Commish is pushin the hearse to first place ☝️🛒🪦
- TJ keeps her spot for playoffs of the back of Mixon 🐂📈💨
- Tight Ends fumbles a loss to Rooski’s insane running core 🫳🏈🏃
- Cowboys bench Cee Dee Lamb in last 5 minutes of game 🦽🐑🥽
- Tacocat deleveled Thompson, on radar to do the deed 🥇📡📈
Priority Express –
Taco Cat
- Well, well, well… Look what the cat dragged in. Himself. Random Zach Ertz going off which is nice. When Nico Collins is your third lowest scorer, typically that means disaster. Not when you have the Sun God on your roster. Looks like you got eight lives left. Use them wisely!
Retail Ground –
Black&BlueWhackadoo
- No points left on the bench. All your best in. Only one explanation for a situation like this; a cruel and unforgiving god. The god from the old testament if he loved gambling and hated you specifically. I’m hoping a Jesus figure intervenes on your behalf. Maybe James Conor is He. Maybe it’s CJ Stroud. I’ll be praying for you.
Air Mail
- Dan goes 5-7
- Redman doesn’t recover, lives a life of debauchery and crime
- Terry Jillery will make it to the Championship
- Russians hack the Yahoo app ending our season early
- I find peace in the little things. My seething anger is quenched
Undelivered Points
“Giving up is for rookies.”
—Philoctetes
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