Zach Smith Wanted For Murder in Week 6

Under Pressure Statements

• I use Dan as a springboard and Yurchenko out of last place 🤸💫🥇
• IT’S ONLY DOWN FOR THE COMMISSIONER 👎🔻📉
• For Terry Jillery, the best defense is no defense 👷‍♀️🚫😤
• I’m confused why Fumble and Whackadoo score so low 🧐🚮🤷
• Son beats dad in absolute show of domination and free time 🕛♾️🧑‍🧒
• Son beats dad in razor thin contest of slightly above average teams 🤏😬🍿

Priority Express –

Redman

• Scary good line up. Some would say, “losing in the first round of playoffs” good. You can’t drive, but you RAN OVER your competition. Can’t vote, but you were pretty LIBERAL with the amount of points you dished out. Can’t join the military, but you SERVED up some heat. Hopefully your dad doesn’t know that one Bible story. 

Retail Ground –

The Tight Ends

• “Clarissa.” Honestly this is a prime example of Fantasy at its worst. Ridley under 1.0? Evans under 10? Eckler acting like he’s still a Charger? Just rough. Hate to see. Hate to bring it up voluntarily and on my own volition. Yet here we are. Next week’s win should be well within your grasp with a clever use of screen time restrictions.

Air Mail

• Dan goes 3-9
• I DEFEAT THE COMMISSIONER
• Redman loses his phone privileges for the week
• McCaffery does ayahuasca, starts up his streaming career
• Miles trades me Derrick Henry for ANYONE PLEASE

Undelivered Points

“Every master was once a disaster.”

—T.S. Wood