Zach Smith abandons faith in god week 3

Under Pressure Statements

• Josh Allen and Derrick Henry decide I shouldn’t have a good week 🤷😀🤬
• Dak Prescott’s back shatters under weight of Dan’s anemic team 🏥🩻🪦
• Fumblerooski averages 19.2 points per position and probably should have been more 📈💪😱
• Slim Burrow fails to achieve victory for The Tight Ends in a highly contentious matchup 🤏😅😳
• Mister Loonie feeling whackado AND black and blue after exceeding expectations 🥊🤕🫥
• A new “Overlord” takes the stage and hits Tacocat with a racecar, leaving the commish as the only undefeated team 🐱🏎️👀

Priority Express

Fumblerooski

• Jauan Jennings pick up was huge. Some would say bigger than picking up Jordan Mason. Barkley is still your only hope, but JJ may get you one more game.

Retail Ground

The Tight Ends

• Joe Burrow picking up steam is a good sign. Pacheco out, Hill having me throw to him, and Eckler being made of glass are all stacking against you. I will be praying for

Air Mail

• Dan goes 1-11
• 3 matchups will be upsets – Thompson/Fumblerooski/ Zach Smith
• Chiefs get over 50+ positive yards from penalties
• Eagles do a “Weekend at Bernies” thing with Devonta Smith
• Miles trades me Derrick Henry for Jerome Ford

Undelivered Points

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” 

                                             —Jimmy Dean