No one sad about week 1

Under Pressure Statements

• Miles two teams gets one win, and one teeth grinding loss by the team with a QB first round pick. Congrats and condolences 👍🎉🙏
• I win WITHOUT CMC and AGAINST Garrett Wilson and Deebo because God is real and loves me 👏🙏🙌
• Brat Wurst gets cooked by the Commish, and may need a spelling change 🌭☝️💣
• The Overlord barely makes it over Miles’ lineup that’s dropping like anvils 🧨💥🤕
• Dan loses to a one Fumble Bears defense that was a Rooski top scorer ⚠️🐻⚰️

Priority Express – FumbleRooski

• Your players either went tf off or were asleep. You will still lose by my hand. Terrifying team. Everyone else should be worried.

Retail Ground – unblock my # wtf

• The only win today was having your first of many brutal losses being to Rooski’s one and only amazing game. You might as well give me Lamb and call it a day. 

Air Mail

• Dan goes 0-12
• Loonies will get two more injured starters
• Miles’ teams will make a provocative trade with each other
• Miles trades me Derrick Henry for Jerome Ford
• Christian McCaffery retires and I commit myself to an institution 

Undelivered Points

“No matter what you’re going through, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. 

                                              —Demi Lovato